i wan my mommy and daddy

for the first time in my life, i am so so so looking forward to going home, home-sickness, not yet, but almost, i don't know how to put it but i really really miss everyone and everything back home, even though i am going back to a slightly different home this time, without my brother, (he's far far way in kedah) and i m not sure our dog back home will still recognize me or not. and no, it's not because something bad happened here and that i need to get back for shelter.

i was staying up late for no reason at all the other day (presumably to study but i can never study after 9pm, but still, due to my recent upsidee down lifestyle, i cant seem to wake up early anymore, and therefore the situation), i was so so down, i wanted to sleep and yet i don wan to sleep away time, even though i cant study, and i don really care that much about my school stuffs, which is totally not appropriate, i know, and i was thinking how it would be like if i were home. momm would be downstairs already, cooking and washing and cleaning, and if i were to appear, she would be really pleased, and i would help a bit and then my dad would come down too, getting the morning papers first, and then reading, and then he will go into the garden and start watering his plants. by then my mom will most probably has finish cooking (ah yes, cooking, we eat a lot for breakfast) and start serving. and my dad will come in, and they will be sitting around the dining table, talking while waiting for my brothers to come down. then we'll have breakfast together. it's always busy, we will all be talking at the same time, about school, about a test, about work, about food, and our schedules, and organizing and distributing work. and after that, more chaos, of getting ready, gathering our stuffs, refilling our water containers. and then off we go for school.

i never appreciate our morning rituals until after i started university. i never realised how blessed our family is, being able to sit down for breakfast and share together every morning. it used to seem like such a chore. and i never realized how quiet it would get after we leave for school, where mom will quickly clean-up and prepare for work and dad will be gone by then. then, an empty house.

i try to imagine God looking after us, and seeing from a vertical view, everyone rushing and thinking that they are making the best out of their time and how everyone doesn't seem to know how happy and contended we are supposed to feel. we are all rushing, and the time is running...

we are so daft sometimes, we never appreciate time and space and people. we are always we are after something worthwhile, and lose out on the real worthwhile stuffs. it's so typical of us.

God of all providence, shed some light would you?